Wanting It All, Having It All: How to Define Your "All" and Make It Happen

Today, I am diving into a topic that resonates deeply with so many of us: the idea of wanting it all and having it all. But here is the real question—what does "all" even mean for you? And how do you go from dreaming about it to living it?

For years, I chased the idea of "having it all" without really knowing what that meant for me. I thought it was about achieving everything society told me I should want—a successful career, a perfect family, a beautiful home, and a packed schedule of accomplishments. However, the truth is that it took me a very long time to get a clear picture of what I truly wanted in life. I struggled because I could not clearly state or envision my vision. I was stuck in a cycle of vague desires and scattered efforts, feeling overwhelmed and unfulfilled despite my hard work. But once I created that clear vision for myself, everything changed. It has not always been easy, but having a clear direction has made obtaining what I want so much more achievable.

Let me share a personal example. In the last eight years, I have been more productive and focused than ever before in my life. During this time, I earned my PMP (Project Management Professional) designation, became a Lean Six Sigma Black Belt, obtained my Prosci Change Management Certification, welcomed two beautiful babies into the world, bought and renovated a home, became a certified life coach, and I am now on the verge of completing my Master's in Business Analysis. These accomplishments did not happen by accident—they happened because I finally understood what "all" meant for me, and I aligned my actions with that vision. Today, I am here to help you do the same. Let's explore how to define your "all," create a clear vision, and take intentional steps to make it a reality. I will share tips, resources, and practical strategies to guide you on this journey.

The Myth of "Having It All"

We have all heard the phrase "you can have it all"—a thriving career, a loving family, a vibrant social life, perfect health, financial freedom, and endless personal growth. It sounds amazing, but it can also feel like an impossible standard. The problem with this idea is that it often comes with a one-size-fits-all definition of success, which fails to account for the uniqueness of one's life, values, and desires.

For years, I fell into this trap. I thought "having it all" meant doing everything at once—being a corporate superstar, a perfect mom, a flawless homemaker, and a social butterfly, all while looking like I stepped out of a magazine. But trying to juggle all these roles left me exhausted and unfulfilled. I was chasing someone else's version of "all," not mine. It was not until I took a step back to define what I truly wanted that I found clarity and momentum.

The first step to having it all is to redefine what "all" means for you. It's not about achieving everything—it's about achieving the right things, the things that light you up and align with your deepest values. For some, "having it all" might mean a high-powered career and global travel. For others, it might mean a quiet life with a close-knit family and a garden to tend. There is no wrong answer, but there is a right answer for you.

Step 1: Define Your "All" with Clarity and Intention

To truly have it all, you need to know what "all" looks like for you. This requires deep self-reflection and honesty. Here is how to get started:

• Reflect on Your Core Values: What matters most to you? Is it family, career growth, personal development, health, creativity, or community? Write down your top three values and use them as a filter for your goals. For example, if family is a top value, your "all" might include more time with loved ones rather than a 60-hour workweek.

• Visualize Your Ideal Day: Close your eyes and imagine your perfect day five years from now. Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? How do you feel? This exercise helps you uncover what truly brings you joy. For me, envisioning a day when I could balance meaningful work, quality time with my family, and personal growth provided clarity on my priorities.

• Ask the Hard Questions: What are you willing to sacrifice, and what are you not? For instance, I realized I was okay with less sleep to pursue my certifications, but I wasn't willing to miss my kids' milestones. Knowing your non-negotiables helps you focus on what truly matters.

This process took me years because I was not intentional about it at first. I would set vague goals, such as "be successful," without defining what success meant to me. But once I sat down, journaled my values, and visualized my ideal life, everything clicked. I realized my "all" was about creating a legacy of growth—both for myself and my family—while helping others through coaching. That clarity became my North Star.

Step 2: Create a Clear Vision and Break It Down

Once you understand what "all" means for you, it is time to create a clear vision and break it down into actionable steps. This is where I experienced the most significant shift in my life. After years of feeling scattered, I finally sat down and wrote out my vision in vivid detail: I wanted to be a certified life coach, raise a loving family, live in a home that felt like a sanctuary, and continue growing professionally through meaningful certifications and education. That vision gave me direction, and suddenly, achieving my goals felt possible—not because it was easy, but because I knew exactly where I was going.

Here's how to create and act on your vision:

• Write a Vision Statement: Be specific. Instead of "I want a great career," write, "I want to be a certified life coach who helps 100 clients a year while working from home." My vision statement included becoming a life coach, earning advanced certifications, and creating a nurturing home for my family.

• Set SMART Goals: Break your vision into Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound goals. For example, to earn my PMP designation, I set a goal to study 10 hours a week for six months and pass the exam by a specific date.

• Create a Timeline: Map out your goals over the next 1, 3, and 5 years. In my case, I prioritized my PMP and Lean Six Sigma Black Belt first, then focused on starting a family, knowing I could pursue my life coach certification afterward.

• Track Your Progress: Use a planner or digital tool to keep track of your milestones. I love the Passion Planner (Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with this product) for its goal-setting framework—it helped me stay on track while juggling my certifications, family life, and home renovation.

Over the last eight years, this clarity has fueled my productivity. I earned my PMP designation, Lean Six Sigma Black Belt, and Prosci Change Management Certification, had two babies, bought and renovated a home, became a certified life coach, and am now finishing my Master's in Business Analysis. Each step was intentional, aligned with my vision, and broken into manageable pieces. It was not always smooth—raising babies while studying is no joke!—but having a clear direction kept me motivated.

Step 3: Embrace Mindfulness to Stay Aligned

Achieving your "all" is not just about action—it's about staying aligned with your vision through mindfulness. Without mindfulness, it is easy to get caught up in the hustle and lose sight of why you are pursuing your goals in the first place. I learned how to use mindfulness to achieve this, and I'm here to help you do the same.

Here are some mindfulness practices to keep you grounded:

• Daily Check-Ins: Each morning, take five minutes to reflect on your intentions for the day. Ask yourself, "Are my actions today aligned with my vision?" This practice helped me stay focused even on chaotic days as a new mom.

• Meditation: A 10-minute meditation can reduce stress and improve clarity. I use the Calm app (Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with this product) for guided sessions that help me stay centred.

• Gratitude Practice: Write down three things you are grateful for each day. This shifts your mindset from one of scarcity to one of abundance, making it easier to stay motivated.

Mindfulness helped me navigate the challenges of pursuing my goals while raising a family. When I felt overwhelmed, I would pause, breathe, and remind myself why I was doing this—to create a better future for my kids and to inspire others through my coaching.

Step 4: Let Go of Perfection and Embrace Balance

One of the biggest obstacles to having it all is the pressure to be perfect. I used to think that "having it all" meant doing everything flawlessly, but that is a recipe for burnout. Instead, I learned to embrace balance and let go of the pursuit of perfection.

• Prioritize Ruthlessly: You cannot do everything at once. Choose your top priorities for each season of life. When my kids were newborns, I scaled back on studying to focus on them, knowing I could ramp up later.

• Ask for Help: Do not be afraid to delegate or seek support. My husband and I worked as a team during our home renovation, and I leaned on family for help during intense study periods.

• Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge every step forward. When I passed my PMP exam, I celebrated with a friend—it reminded me that joy is a part of "having it all."

Balance does not mean doing everything equally—it means giving your energy to what matters most in each moment. For me, this meant accepting that some days were all about my kids while others were focused on my studies or coaching clients.

Step 5: Build a Support System and Stay Accountable

You do not have to achieve your "all" alone. Surrounding yourself with a supportive community and accountability partners can make all the difference.

• Find a Mentor or Coach: Working with a life coach like me can help you clarify your vision and stay on track. I offer personalized coaching to help you define and achieve your "all."

• Join a Community: Connect with like-minded people who share your goals. I joined a local women's business group, which gave me encouragement and accountability during my Master's program.

• Share Your Goals: Share your vision with your loved ones. When I shared my goal of becoming a life coach with my family, their support kept me motivated and encouraged me to pursue it.

Your "All" Is Within Reach

Defining and achieving your "all" is a deeply personal journey, but it is one you are fully capable of taking. It took me years to get clear on what I wanted, but once I did, the path forward became so much easier—not because the work was easy, but because I had a clear direction. Over the last eight years, I have accomplished more than I ever thought possible, and I continue to grow. You can do the same.

Start today by reflecting on your values, creating a vision, and taking one small step toward your goals. Whether it is signing up for a course, spending quality time with your family, or carving out space for mindfulness, every action counts. Your "all" is waiting for you to define it—and I am here to cheer you on every step of the way.

What does "having it all" mean to you? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below, or feel free to reach out for a coaching session. Let's bring your vision to life together.